Posted: Mon 14 Feb 2005 18:48 Post subject: 60 Minutes - Segment on Transracial Adoption in U.S./Other
Hi all
Did any of you see 60 minutes last night? They did a segment on transracial adoption. They began by stating that many/the majority of American couples are paying tons of money and waiting many years to get a healthy 'white" or non-black non-mixed baby, when, ironically there are tons of black and mixed race children in the U.S. who each year go unadopted.
They went on to say that a substantial number of these American black/mixed babies are being adopted in Canada and a few other countries who seem more tolerant.
It was interesting to me that they made a distinction between black and mixed race babies.
Also later in the show they stated that Canada was not as non-racist a might appear - A white couple who adopted two black children stated they had gotten many racist comments.
They had one grown black woman who had been adopted/raised by a white couple and she stated how difficult it was hitting puberty with all the "who am I?' stuff and then the added layer of being black in a white family. But my first thought is, I had the identical experience, I feel, because they society was calling me black but I am mostly white in reality - and as I became an adult and ventured out, began to be taken for white or many other things - so this was confusing for me and I was not even a transracial adoptee. It was just one of the pecularities and cruelties if you will of the one drop rule. Except for me it was even worse because there was never a presumption that this may be difficult - because supposedly "we were all black" my family and all us other mixies. At least transracial adoptees had counseling etc.
So what is transracial adoptiong really causing in terms of the difficulty in adjusting that teens have - particuarly teens who are transracialoly adopted, if we've got a society callig someone who looks like Halle Berry or Mariah Carey or Julian Bond "black"
Liana
Last edited by Liana on Thu 17 Feb 2005 19:20; edited 1 time in total
Posted: Mon 14 Feb 2005 22:17 Post subject: \"transracial\" adoption
You're absolutely right about the unspoken assumption that, as long as everyone in the family has SOME "Negro blood," there will be no problems.
Kids raised in OFFICIAL "interracial" families are far less "confused" than those reared in multi-colored families that claim to be "all black." A "black" adoptee who leaves his "white" family to seek his roots and a "black" identity is praised to the skies for it. The mixed-white kid who leaves a black-identified family to seek his white roots and identity is villified for it.
The kid in the OFFICIAL "interracial marriage" is told that he looks the way he does because he has European ancestors as well as African and others. His counterpart in the mulatto elite "all black" family might be whiter but is told the lie that he has little or no white ancestry because EVERYONE in the official family is "black." (This is the line frequently used against Anatole Broyard). If you "look white" but have little or no "white" ancestry (as the one-drop "blacks" contend), then you must be a genetic freak or mutation.
Note the woman in this book. She has constant problems trying to be "black" because, when she is out with her children or a black boyfriend, the public saw (accurately) a Caucasian woman with Negroes. Her friend Artie Jones, a fellow mixed-white victimized by Jim Crow racial definitions, tells her that there is no "passing" or difference between "white" and "black." There is nothing she needs to know in order to be "white" - just be herself. Inez comes to realize that it is EASIER for her to be "white" because both "whites" and "blacks" (and everyone else) define people by racial phenotype unless told to do otherwise. Inez also comes to realize that white mulatto women like herself are often considered racial trophies by black men.
Inez comes to realize that, despite the propaganda that she is a "light-skinned black," the REAL blacks either hate or adore her for being so white. Inez has to hide in a car driven by a friend in order to escape the Watts race riot. After all, she is a WHITE and rioting black gangs will not stop to ask every white face if he or she has "black blood" (nor would they care).
Unfortunately, Inez got herself hooked up with a wife-beating black man and bore two of his children because she realized the possibilities before her. Too many girls like Inez are brought up to believe that so-called "pure" whites are gods and that she is unworthy of her European ancestry. The "passer" is the one who realizes that he or she is really "white" if ANYONE is and does not buy the racist nonsense that he/she is some better-looking or superior variety of "black" but unworthy of other whites.
This is a great post - very insightful - as are all of your posts
The part where you write "Inez comes to realize that, despite the propaganda that she is a "light-skinned black," the REAL blacks either hate or adore her for being so white. Inez has to hide in a car driven by a friend in order to escape the Watts race riot. After all, she is a WHITE and rioting black gangs will not stop to ask every white face if he or she has "black blood" (nor would they care). "
This reminds me of my uncle. During the Newark NJ race riots ( I was not born ) my family told me that my uncle put a sign on his car that said "I am black"
lol
My grandfather apparently went thru the entire second world war - service - as a white man - because he didnt' want to peel potatoes - He had blondish hair and blue eyes -
Liana
Last edited by Liana on Fri 18 Mar 2005 18:02; edited 1 time in total
As far as adoption. Yes - there is always this presumption that "as long as you are all black that everything is ok"
I have a cousin who is fair with totally caucasian hair - medium brown - light brown eyes. Her husband darker with curlish hair but most of his sisters had caucasian hair - he was the darkest one of 8 children. They all looked sort of Indian.
Anyway he and my cousin had 3 kids - and all looked - actually - very similar to the pix MixedMom presented. In fact the two boys could be twins with her boy. Truly
Anyway they could not have more kids and wanted one more so they adopted the fourth child. The child they adopted - a girl - was/is black with extremely nappy hair and very stereotypically negroid features - nose lips eyes etc.
I remember - even my mom saying - Why is it that when a white family adopts, they make an attempt to match the looks - (i.e., If the family is blond they try to get a blond etc.) But with "black" families - any black child will do -
This kid is nowt in her early 20s and she is all messed up. I am not saying it is because of that - it is a lot of things - of course. But I remember feeling so sorry for her when she was a child because she had three siblings and she looked NOTHING like them at all. When they became teenagers she and her sister would go to clubs and be standing in line and people didn't realize that they were together, let alone sisters, because they look so different. Here is this black child in a family of kids with light brown almost blondish hair.
There was even gossip going around town that she was the bastard child of my cousin's husband - like he had had an affair with a dark skinned black woman and this was the kid - (as they had had problems with in infidelity in the family and eventually divorced - but there was NO TRUTH to that rumor. How cruel, huh? Esp for a kid to deal with?)
Society, particularly black folks, (sorry) can be extremely cruel with the color strucked-ness
Joined: 18 Feb 2005 {Posts: 7 } Location: California
Posted: Fri 18 Mar 2005 00:58 Post subject:
Liana,
Talking about your cousin who has the adopted daughter, the exact opposite happened to me. I too was placed for adoption at birth, my birthmom is white, my birthfather is black. My mom's parents would not allow her to bring me home. I ended up being adopted by a black family, they are medium to dark brown and I am light with freckles:~) They adopted me because they thought they could not have children, but had a daughter and 2 sons after I had been adopted. Boy if I didn't stand out in the crowd.
The problem was my adoptive mother grew up in segregated Arkansas, and had a very big problem with lighter and so called privileged blacks, she made it her mission to make sure I never thought more of myself because of my complexion, only she did this by being verbally abusive and too this day I still have some slight self-esteem issues because of the mental and physical abuse imposed by this woman.
I think your Aunt was right when she said they should try to match up the family to the child, I should have been adopted by a bi-racial or multiracial family.
Both of my parents are mixed. I came out with tan skin, long light brown hair that's slightly frizzy, green eyes and a prominent bridge to my nose. I recall an occasion when I spent the night over a friend's house. I was either 10 or 11 years old at the time. My friend is a medium brown complexion and her younger sister is a dark complexion. In the morning, it came time for her mother to fix our hair for the day. While my friend's mother combed her older daughter's hair, there were some protests from my friend because her hair easily tangles and it's thick to boot. The mother would occasionally smack my friend's hand with the comb when my friend would reach up involuntarily in reaction to her discomfort. Then it was time to comb the younger sister's hair. The younger sister had thicker hair and her protests were a bit more pronounced. She would actually pull away and holler "Ow momma that hurts!!!!" This must have frustrated the mother because she reacted to it by not only slapping her younger daughter's hand when she'd reach up involuntarily but this mother would also beat her daughter about the shoulders with this comb and would yell at her "I TOLD you to hold still dammit!" I remember her telling her daughter "I KNOW you don't have the nerve to be tenderheaded as nappy as YOUR hair is!" There were even some tears shed by the younger daughter. Then it was my turn. After a light brushing, the tangles were gone and my hair (which reached past my shoulders) combed very easily. While the mother combed my hair, she heaped a mountain of praise on me about how pretty and good my hair was. She even told her daughters that she wished their hair was like mine. There were countless other places that I would have rather have been than in that chair at that moment. I could feel the blood rushing to my face. (I do get red when I blush) I looked over to my friend, she didn't seem to mind what was being said but when I looked at her younger sister, she was glaring at me. What the heck was I supposed to do? Chastise their mother for giving me compliments? It wasn't my fault that this was happening. This was just as negative an experience for me as it was for the younger sister but in different ways. This happened during the "Black is beautiful" fad. On the one hand, I was glad that I didn't have to be hurt getting my hair combed but on the other hand, I felt sorry for my friends. This incident was one of several that gave me insight into making sure that I don't ever disparage black African hair types. I wouldn't develop this insight until adulthood though. I don't like words like "kinky" and "nappy" they sound negative to me.
Mimisbaby, I agree with your post, you probably would have been better off with an interracial family or a light family with more caucasian features. There are so many issues within the black American collective psyche. Unfortunately, there are still many who think that white is better then there's anger because they don't meet this standard then you get this love-hate reaction to the "proxy white" multiracials. Well, I've given you my two cents (don't spend it all in one place now! )
I am so sorry you had to go thru that. I totally agree that you should have been adopted by a multiracial family. Our experiences ARE different and we should NOT be considered to be the same thing - especially since, black people are quite frequently 10 times more color struck than whites. And also are frequenty more racist in general - I believe that.
In my family I was the only one with curly hair - it is wavy ish. My brother and sister have caucasian hair. I cannot tell you how many black people would look at us and say 'Hey you don't look like you are related." etc. It really hurt. They don't seem to understand that what they perceive as "the color line" that being if your hair has some wave to it - regardless of other features - versus if your hair is straight - they can't believe that this color line they had in their heads is nothign more than a paper notion because this supposed color line can be crossed right within the same family.
one girl asked me if we all had the same father.
Those comments really hurt.
Anyway I know what you mean - black people's comments esp when you are child can really hurt. And yet they all seem to perceive that since you were adopted by a black family you are all "black" so all is fine. That is absolutely not true.
I can totally relate to the hair combing thing. And I have heard "black" moms say those things to their daughters while combing their hair.
It reminds me of times when I have gone to black salons. (Which I have not for 20 years now. I don't like the way they do my hair.) I've been going to a German woman for 15 years now and I won't see anyoen else. I LOVE the way she does my hair. Americans period - white or black - dont' seem to know what to do with biracial hair. Cross-texture hair has many specific properties that are unique - but in the U.S. the idea is that it falls under the category fo "black" hair which it/mine does not. I cannot use grease and pomades because my hair is fine and will flatten out. It goes on and on. Hair perms - they work better on nappy hair than on wavy hair because my hair will still wave up even if I perm it. It could go on and on.
Anyway -when I was a younger girl my aunt and mom took me to a black salon. What I hate is the staring atmosphere. The "blacks" sit there and stare at your hair - and then they start with the "You got some good hair" etc. I felt like you - I wanted to be anywhere but there - I did not feel complimented or comfortable because I felt like a spectacle. And esp. when I was younger - as a kid you just want to fit in.
It is really hard - no one understands our pain because we are presumed to have the upper hand. Later in life I guess in many instances we do but it does not stop incidents like these from hurting us - esp. as children.
'
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(I do get red when I blush) I looked over to my friend, she didn't seem to mind what was being said but when I looked at her younger sister, she was glaring at me. What the heck was I supposed to do? Chastise their mother for giving me compliments? It wasn't my fault that this was happening. This was just as negative an experience for me as it was for the younger sister but in different ways. This happened during the "Black is beautiful" fad. On the one hand, I was glad that I didn't have to be hurt getting my hair combed but on the other hand, I felt sorry for my friends. This incident was one of several that gave me insight into making sure that I don't ever disparage black African hair types. I wouldn't develop this insight until adulthood though. I don't like words like "kinky" and "nappy" they sound negative to me.
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