Posted: Thu 31 Jan 2008 23:25 Post subject: Obama praised for marrying black woman
Even Bliss Broyard admitted in her book that blacks anxiously watch mixed-race people to determine which "race" they will select for marriage. Marriages to "pure" whites, fellow mixed-race folks and other non-blacks are looked upon with suspicion. Marriages to blacks are greeted with rejoicing. Why? "Improving the race," perhaps?
The Real Prize
Why Obama's wife makes me love him more.
By Kim McLarin
TheRoot.com
Updated: 6:31 PM ET Jan 27, 2008
Yes, yes, I know damn well, in my higher self, that there are better reasons for liking Barack.
His cleareyed intelligence, for one thing. His broad and nonparochial perspective of the world. His preparation, his education, his politics. I like that Obama forwent a lucrative career in corporate America to work with the folks in Chicago. I even like the fact that the man can write, and I mean write, although as a writer who struggles daily to do the work, I kind of hate that too: this talented dabbler, this massively successful dilettante.
But, if I'm honest, I must admit that none of those fine attributes are what tipped me over from Obama admiration to Obama love. It was something else, something entirely personal, something deeply revealing, if not about the man then certainly about me. It was Michelle Obama—or, more particularly, his choice of her as wifely material.
Barack chose Michelle. He chose one of us, and I am thrilled.
The first time I saw Michelle Obama I thought, oddly, of a line from Ntozake Shange's epic choreopoem For Colored Girls Who Have Considered Suicide/When The Rainbow Is Enuf:
ordinary
brown braided woman
with big legs and full lips
reglar
Of course, Michelle Obama is tall and regal and utterly self-possessed. She owns a smile to nearly rival her husband's and waves those long, slender fingers about like a classical pianist. She carries more talent, clarity, deep self-knowledge, and openness of heart in the left eyelash she lost unnoticed yesterday than any woman on the trail. The notion that this woman is "reglar" is, prima facie, absurd.
But there you go. I look at Michelle Obama, and I see—at least not at first—not the strength of her character nor her fierce intelligence nor even her Ivy League degree, but the plain and plainly striking fact that she in no way resembles either Halle Berry or Heidi Klum. She more favors my friend Damita. She reminds me of my sister Michelle. She looks like me.
What does this say about Michelle Obama? Not a thing, of course. About her husband? Perhaps more so.
For the record, I am not saying there's anything wrong with interracial relationships, and I'm certainly not casting any stones at my beautiful fair-skinned sisters. One look close inside my own family would push me to shame were that the case.
I am not saying that black men who marry white women or fair-skinned black women are all operating from some internalized self-loathing and/or deep-seated buy-in to the dominant culture's negation of black female worthiness and allure. I am not saying, all you romantics, that love cannot be colorblind.
OK? All right? Can we move along?
What I am saying is that in America it is not often we see the wife of a successful black man who looks like Michelle, and that seeing her beside him is, for some of us, almost as transforming a moment as seeing him where he is.
What I am saying is that beautiful, beautiful Michelle has the potential to counter in a real and powerful way the still all-too-real internalized belief by many dark-skinned black American women that we are still not pretty enough, not desirable enough, not worthy to be loved. Howl all you want; there is no use in pretending this stuff doesn't still cut deep among us. Check out that young sister's film re-creating the Clark black doll experience. Watch that last little black girl as she points to that little black doll, and get back to me.
Maybe Barack made this choice because of his international upbringing. Maybe he did the hard work early on of rooting around in his subconscious, teasing out which parts of his identity were inherent, which were random, which were family-based, and, yes, which were imposed by cultural hegemony. Or, maybe he just liked the way she smiled at him. Barack looked past what Hollywood and Madison Avenue and even BET would have said about Michelle and saw the stunning beauty she possessed. He chose one of us.
More importantly, Michelle Obama seems to take his open adoration of her in stride, as if it were simply nothing more than she deserved. Concept! New York Times columnist Maureen Dowd can misconstrue Michelle's wifely complaints about Barack not putting away the butter as emasculating all she wants. Some of us hear, in those affectionate jibes, something completely different, something much more about her than about him: She loves, respects, and adores Barack, but she is the prize, and she damn well knows it. He better know it, too.
Kim McLarin is the author of Jump at the Sun: A Novel.
Maybe Barack made this choice because of his international upbringing. Maybe he did the hard work early on of rooting around in his subconscious, teasing out which parts of his identity were inherent, which were random, which were family-based, and, yes, which were imposed by cultural hegemony. Or, maybe he just liked the way she smiled at him. Barack looked past what Hollywood and Madison Avenue and even BET would have said about Michelle and saw the stunning beauty she possessed. He chose one of us.
This is just poor self-esteem for those type women. To be happy a man you don't know marries a dark-skinned female 'like you' (and not even you) ....
Now in regards to Obama- remember when, in his book, he talks about going thru a period of self-examination, where he broke up with his White girlfriend, etc. It's probably around this time he decided to 'embrace blackness'. He moved to Chicago and began working with inner city grassroots activities, etc. I bet he also decided to run for high public office around this time and a 'Becky' just wouldn't do.
Kudos to Harold Ford Jr for announcing his engagement to a White female AFTER his bid for office. LOL!
Quote:
Even Bliss Broyard admitted in her book that blacks anxiously watch mixed-race people to determine which "race" they will select for marriage.
Yeah, this cracks me up about White looking AAs who go on to marry White (aka Gregory H. Williams ) and yet still insist they are only AA and are in 'interracial' relationships.
Joined: 03 Jun 2005 {Posts: 274 } Location: California
Posted: Fri 01 Feb 2008 20:35 Post subject:
Obama married a woman relatively close in skin tone to himself. Same with Harold Ford, Jr.
I don't know anything about Ford's partner, but Obama picked a woman who is his equal from an educational & socio-economic standpoint. She's also extremely intelligent, as well as attractive. I'm glad he married well, but it's so odd to read people are making comments about the skin color of his wife. Only in America....
Posted: Fri 01 Feb 2008 22:55 Post subject: Re: Obama praised for marrying black woman
Powell wrote:
Even Bliss Broyard admitted in her book that blacks anxiously watch mixed-race people to determine which "race" they will select for marriage. Marriages to "pure" whites, fellow mixed-race folks and other non-blacks are looked upon with suspicion. Marriages to blacks are greeted with rejoicing. Why? "Improving the race," perhaps?
Not always....It is assumed that such people are really black anyway, and their marriages to blacks confirm that they have chosen the "right side." Also, their marriages are a sign that they are in sync with the black community.
Oddly black folks who are the most hostile to interracial relationships can be the most adamant that the products of such marriages identify as and with black people exclusively. I have encountered people who dismiss Tiger Woods' father as a "sell out" for his marriage to a non-black woman, but although they view Tiger Woods with suspicion because of his racial background, they see him as black and find his marriage to his Nordic bride as a loss to the community.
I'm glad he married well, but it's so odd to read people are making comments about the skin color of his wife. Only in America....
No, not "only in America."
Quote:
Yeah, this cracks me up about White looking AAs who go on to marry White (aka Gregory H. Williams ) and yet still insist they are only AA and are in 'interracial' relationships. Rolling Eyes
Why, Melani, do you insist on imposing your beliefs on how people should self-identify on people who self-identify in a way you don't feel comfortable with?
Right. Obama doesn't really love or care for his attractive, accomplished and supportive wife. He chose her because he wanted to be blacker and she "blackens" him. Right. Honestly he could have gone much blacker. People have School Daze on the brain!
If he had married a White woman or a European that would have REALLY shown 'em something! He'd have proven his dedication to the liberation of mixed people who are victims of blackness. He is, as it were, a "sellout" for not "improving the (Mixed) race" by marrying a lighter skinned woman with less West African features or a woman with a European phenotype. Yes, kudos to Harold Ford for making the "right" choice for following his heart and marrying the White woman who will derail his political career. Because, you know, Ford, as the latest generation in an old political familiy has no intentions of ever running for office again. If he does I guess he should divorce her and give one of Michelle Obama's single sisters or cousins a call. Maybe even someone who looks like she's straight out of West Africa.
Anyone who cannot see that Barack loves his wife and chose her because he fell in love with her is really, really jaded.
I would be interested to know what kind of woman signifies that a man such as Barack Obama has married the "right" woman for the "right" reasons?
All of a sudden a women who looks like Michelle Obama is a trophy? Be still my heart! I thought all of the trophy wives were visibly mixed or White.
Hmmm....maybe there is something to that. Maybe BECAUSE Michelle Obama is who she is and looks like what she looks like that it must be damned near impossible to believe that she could attract a man unless he had racial/color issues. I get it. A man would have to have an underlying political agenda to deny his "natural" attraction to woman who are beautiful (read NOT SSA-looking), hold his nose, and put the "sista" on his arm. That explains what's happened here.
Michelle Obama is a very pretty woman. She and Barack make a perfect looking couple. It's unfortunate that anyone would cast dispersions on OB's choice of a wife.
Posted: Tue 05 Feb 2008 14:58 Post subject: hahahhaahah
This is stupid, how are you going to love someone because they married a black woman. 'He chose one of us', hello, I'm thinking 'freak'? He didn't choose you, and I'm damn glad, cause you write like a person with low self-esteem. It doesn't matter who he is married too, and I'm sure when he chose his wife, he was thinking about personality, because from the interviews, she seems like a woman with good personality.
My friends are telling me to leave the 'freak' alone, but to derive your own self-esteem from the outer appearance of a couple, means you really have low self-esteem.
Posted: Tue 05 Feb 2008 15:18 Post subject: Re: hahahhaahah
gs56ca wrote:
you write like a person with low self-esteem. ...
Caution. You are approaching the edge of ad hominem. You have not come close to crossing the line yet, so this is simply a cautionary note. (See The Rules 2.2.)
Joined: 19 Jan 2006 {Posts: 219 } Location: Southern California
Posted: Tue 05 Feb 2008 15:58 Post subject: Re: hahahhaahah
fwsweet wrote:
gs56ca wrote:
you write like a person with low self-esteem. ...
Caution. You are approaching the edge of ad hominem. You have not come close to crossing the line yet, so this is simply a cautionary note. (See The Rules 2.2.)
At first glance, it almost appears that "gs56ca" 's almost-ad hominem attack (the word "you") is not directed to any member on this board, but towards the author of the article posted by member Powell.
I do not think the author is claiming anything negative on either Obama or his wife. Nor making it a Black pride thing. She is just stating that in a country where many media personalities like sports and music stars (in contrast to political and other mainstream people who's life doesn't just rotate on entertainment value and popularity) do choose a lot of wives that seem to be on the lighter side. I think she is saying that there is a perception of lack of appreciation for her type of beauty in some circles and it is nice to see that Obama does appreciate that type of beauty, along with all the other qualities of his wife.
Posted: Tue 05 Feb 2008 18:00 Post subject: Re: hahahhaahah
DucorpsToo wrote:
fwsweet wrote:
gs56ca wrote:
you write like a person with low self-esteem. ...
Caution. You are approaching the edge of ad hominem. You have not come close to crossing the line yet, so this is simply a cautionary note. (See The Rules 2.2.)
At first glance, it almost appears that "gs56ca" 's almost-ad hominem attack (the word "you") is not directed to any member on this board, but towards the author of the article posted by member Powell.
I agree. My impression was that their statement was rhetorical.
I do not think the author is claiming anything negative on either Obama or his wife. Nor making it a Black pride thing. She is just stating that in a country where many media personalities like sports and music stars (in contrast to political and other mainstream people who's life doesn't just rotate on entertainment value and popularity) do choose a lot of wives that seem to be on the lighter side. I think she is saying that there is a perception of lack of appreciation for her type of beauty in some circles and it is nice to see that Obama does appreciate that type of beauty, along with all the other qualities of his wife.
Well, I would add that most AA aka 'Black' men marry 'Black' women and most 'Black' women are not biracial, LSB, or Creole anyway.
Posted: Thu 07 Feb 2008 04:51 Post subject: Re: hahahhaahah
fwsweet wrote:
gs56ca wrote:
you write like a person with low self-esteem. ...
Caution. You are approaching the edge of ad hominem. You have not come close to crossing the line yet, so this is simply a cautionary note. (See The Rules 2.2.)
Posted: Thu 07 Feb 2008 04:53 Post subject: Re: hahahhaahah
gs56ca wrote:
fwsweet wrote:
gs56ca wrote:
you write like a person with low self-esteem. ...
Caution. You are approaching the edge of ad hominem. You have not come close to crossing the line yet, so this is simply a cautionary note. (See The Rules 2.2.)
I never wrote that
lol I guess I wrote that. It was directed at the author, sorry lol
This is typical sentiment I notice from many black women, but unlike Powell implies, I doubt it has anything to do with Barack Obama being bi-racial. The same things are said about succesful black men, that marry "their own" - i.e "Thank god he didnt go and marry a white woman".
Alot of women seem to get some kind of validation, out of seeing black men (succesful ones particularly), with black women, and moreso if shes an "average" looking black woman. The black men that marry "out", are viewed as being a collective loss, and loathed.
Last edited by Phil345 on Thu 07 Feb 2008 23:07; edited 1 time in total
This is typical sentiment I notice from by many black women, but unlike Powell implies, I doubt it has anything to do with Barack Obama being bi-racial. The same things are said about succesful black men, that marry "their own" - i.e "Thank god he didnt go and marry a white woman".
Alot of women seem to get some kind of validation, out of seeing black men (succesful ones particularly), with black women, and moreso if shes an "average" looking black woman. The black men that marry "out", are viewed as being a collective loss, and loathed.
Michelle Obama is not an average looking woman in my opinion. There's something very regal about her appearance PLUS she's full of charisma. Barack won out big time to have her for his wife.
Joined: 02 May 2006 {Posts: 417 } Location: Île-de-France
Posted: Thu 07 Feb 2008 13:10 Post subject:
She really is the total package for any man: beauty, brains and heart. Barack Obama is lucky and I get the impression he knows it. When a smart man finds a woman like that who will give him the time of day, he doesn't take the risk of letting her get away. Too continue to lavish praise on Obama, I think even she is evidence of his good judgment.
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I bet he also decided to run for high public office around this time and a 'Becky' just wouldn't do. 