Posted: Sun 08 Mar 2009 05:33 Post subject: Ok, so... I wanna know...
In looking through other threads, as a new user, I am allowed to ask questions..
So I have a question...
What do YOU (everyone) consider me? My moniker speaks volumes, to many groups. I am a pariah, in many places I may turn...
I am a serious, true target, to white supremacy groups (seriously-- they REALLY HATE people like me... I know, quite a bit, about this hatred).
But people who identify as AA may not care for me as well... I have passed this invisble line in my ancestoral history that made me what I am... I joined many groups in college, in which my presence was not liked. I had "WHITE PRIVELEDGE, DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT THAT IS B*TCH?" yelled at me.
Yes, I know it, and I know it well. When I walk through a store with my father, and we seperate, I have come to the counter to find my aged (80 years old) father to be undergoing an interogation over a check. I get ZERO flack.... We've been placed at the table by the kitchen doors, when my father entered first in restaurants and got our table... Aw, gawd, my list is so long and so deep of the slights and dehumanisation I have seen... and it makes me so ashamed.... and so angry. But that is the dehumanization that I kniow of... in his 80 years my father has told me volumes... He was born in 1928, Imagine that. I have it recorded, like some 1930's hisitorian.....
butWHITE PRIVELEDGE? KNOW IT? H*LL, I live it everyday. How CAN SOMEONE THROW THAT IN MY FACE? And yet.. they can...
Beacause i live it.
And it stinks, big time....
Because I get to hear what my father would NEVER HEAR: "They're so nice when they have money but...", "Oh I like [insert name of a mixed person *we*--the white folk know--] but she's so... you know... ETHNIC." Or another favorite "I bet they're all happy now that Obama got elected. maybe they'll calm down."
"They"? "they?" I'm a member of THEY...
So here is my question to all the members of this site who read this...
I am a white pheotyoe. I identify on official documents as Other. (although never on academic documents-- I did all I did ON MY OWN. I took NEVER TOOK ANY SCHOLARSHIPS FROM ANYONE WHO WAS MORE DESERVING THAN ME--THose scholarships were not meant for me, and I know that...)
My birth certificate (one of the last years they did this) identifies me as "mulatto".
I identify as mulatto, but there are plenty of people out there who would (snarling) wish to tear that identity from me.
So where is my ground?
Where do I stand here? How do the rest of you veiw those of us who walk the line?
I wear my name on this site, because it is both my suffering and sorrow, and my asset. I can either be hated or unknown... and if I am unknown, I can walk into bastions of power...
Posted: Sun 08 Mar 2009 23:09 Post subject: Re: Ok, so... I wanna know...
PassingWoman wrote:
So here is my question to all the members of this site who read this...
I am a white pheotyoe. I identify on official documents as Other. (although never on academic documents-- I did all I did ON MY OWN. I took NEVER TOOK ANY SCHOLARSHIPS FROM ANYONE WHO WAS MORE DESERVING THAN ME--THose scholarships were not meant for me, and I know that...)
My birth certificate (one of the last years they did this) identifies me as "mulatto".
I identify as mulatto, but there are plenty of people out there who would (snarling) wish to tear that identity from me.
So where is my ground?
Where do I stand here? How do the rest of you veiw those of us who walk the line?
I wear my name on this site, because it is both my suffering and sorrow, and my asset. I can either be hated or unknown... and if I am unknown, I can walk into bastions of power...
and open the gates.
~PW
Origins may influence, but only the person can determine who they really are. I am assuming based on your father's birth year (1928) that you were raised in the 1960's. That was a very difficult time for people of African heritage in the U.S. . It makes sense that you would identify with your phenotype over identifying with your father. And it's my opinion that you have the right to identify as African American, Multi-Racial or Caucasian. Identifying as such takes nothing away from Mother or Father but is essential to being individuals in this day & age, living life your way.
As a dark complexioned person of African heritage, I can say if a person containing African heritage, whether it be visible or invisible, chooses to "Walk the Line" identifying as Caucasian, I take no offense and I also encourage it. Such actions represent independent thought which holds great strength especially when surrounded by public opinion with it's many racial inconsistencies.
Posted: Wed 18 Mar 2009 00:03 Post subject: Re: Ok, so... I wanna know...
PassingWoman wrote:
In looking through other threads, as a new user, I am allowed to ask questions..
So I have a question...
What do YOU (everyone) consider me? My moniker speaks volumes, to many groups. I am a pariah, in many places I may turn...
I am a serious, true target, to white supremacy groups (seriously-- they REALLY HATE people like me... I know, quite a bit, about this hatred).
But people who identify as AA may not care for me as well... I have passed this invisble line in my ancestoral history that made me what I am... I joined many groups in college, in which my presence was not liked. I had "WHITE PRIVELEDGE, DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT THAT IS B*TCH?" yelled at me.
Yes, I know it, and I know it well. When I walk through a store with my father, and we seperate, I have come to the counter to find my aged (80 years old) father to be undergoing an interogation over a check. I get ZERO flack.... We've been placed at the table by the kitchen doors, when my father entered first in restaurants and got our table... Aw, gawd, my list is so long and so deep of the slights and dehumanisation I have seen... and it makes me so ashamed.... and so angry. But that is the dehumanization that I kniow of... in his 80 years my father has told me volumes... He was born in 1928, Imagine that. I have it recorded, like some 1930's hisitorian.....
butWHITE PRIVELEDGE? KNOW IT? H*LL, I live it everyday. How CAN SOMEONE THROW THAT IN MY FACE? And yet.. they can...
Beacause i live it.
And it stinks, big time....
Because I get to hear what my father would NEVER HEAR: "They're so nice when they have money but...", "Oh I like [insert name of a mixed person *we*--the white folk know--] but she's so... you know... ETHNIC." Or another favorite "I bet they're all happy now that Obama got elected. maybe they'll calm down."
"They"? "they?" I'm a member of THEY...
So here is my question to all the members of this site who read this...
I am a white pheotyoe. I identify on official documents as Other. (although never on academic documents-- I did all I did ON MY OWN. I took NEVER TOOK ANY SCHOLARSHIPS FROM ANYONE WHO WAS MORE DESERVING THAN ME--THose scholarships were not meant for me, and I know that...)
My birth certificate (one of the last years they did this) identifies me as "mulatto".
I identify as mulatto, but there are plenty of people out there who would (snarling) wish to tear that identity from me.
So where is my ground?
Where do I stand here? How do the rest of you veiw those of us who walk the line?
I wear my name on this site, because it is both my suffering and sorrow, and my asset. I can either be hated or unknown... and if I am unknown, I can walk into bastions of power...
and open the gates.
~PW
I think you should identify however you would like to identify. My mother I guess is the opposite of you. Passing mum, brothers and sisters fair with green eyes and light skin. She dealt with racism/prejudice too and a loss of privilege, and I guess she sometimes struggles with her identity.
I say do any be what makes you happy, to be honest. Who cares what other people think. That's what I always tell her.
I live 30+ miles outside of Syracuse NY.. Up a dirt road in the middle of a forest. I am highly educated and work across the State of NY (I'm rarely at home) I run the largest grant in the history of the US, for what I am doing.
Quote:
I think you should identify however you would like to identify.
I agree, but this doesn't always "work."
Quote:
I identify you as you wish to be identified.
We need to talk...
Quote:
I am assuming based on your father's birth year (1928) that you were raised in the 1960's. That was a very difficult time for people of African heritage in the U.S. . It makes sense that you would identify with your phenotype over identifying with your father.
I was born in 1965, to a mixed racial couple (although the really funny part is that my (white) mother's mother has a birth certificate which names her "negro" in 1906- This is the same woman I was raised by.)
I was born on my father's 37th birthday (a month early, and in 1965, not many of those like me survived... I must have wanted to live.)
When my parents divorced, I was dropped on my grandparents' doorstep. My mother came back for me when I was 4 or 5 and I went to live with her (vague memories) by I went to a "progressive" nursery school- we learned French, about ethnicities, to love all people.. but most of all... I recall we learned civil rights. I was "instructed" that white people and black people marrying was not only "all right" but that the Supreme Court had deemed it so (Loving vs. Virginia, 1969) It was legal. What a blast for a little kid that knew she was black AND white.. but had gotten some hard info...
In the deeepest memories of my belonging, I can hear my grand mother tell me "You are not of one world or the other." She thrived in her "passing." She loved her "olive skin." She would, when I had climbed into bed with her in the mornings, hold up her arm, and push me to do the same.. looking up at the two arms, together.. we were not the same tine. She would state "See? I am that lovely olive color.. and you... look.. you're just pasty white."
But she would always remind me of my heritage... though probably for good reason. the Exh*lted Wh*te Knites of the Miss. had a good hold in our town. Everyone knew I was a "mixed child."
The racists really, really hate mixed people. Especially mixed people who "pass."
They would seriously like me dead.
When I was young, this confused me. I thought "well, jeez, if I moved away (where no one knew me), everyone would think I was white... I'd just "be" white... so why are they so upset about me?"
But then I went to the West Coat and got my education: I became entrenced in my identity. Yes, I am "mulatoo." I "got" why they were so scared of me: I am the Kl*ns worst nightmare. An educated woman who hates their schpeel. Who is devoute in pulling down their beleifs.
I actually "see" why they veiwed/veiw me as a primary target.
I can go places they can't go.. and I can instill my beleifs.
But there will always be some orgainizations which hate me. "Whitre Priveledge" will always be thrown in my face.
I walk the line. I LIKE walking the line. I can look behind me and see the buried head of hatred in 1865. I can see the torso eaten up in 1965. I can look behind me and watch it slowly die in the 70's the 80's.. the 90's.. now. And because of my skin, I can help bury it. And I am helping.
"Racism and hatred and indiffference, come here..."{I give them some medicine} they die....
In 1865, they would have feared me becasue they thought I would feed them poison on the battle field or in the hospitals. (I would have.) In 2009, they fear me because I will feed thier programs the gift of diversity and inclusion...
Yup.
They need to fear me. I am their worst nightmare. I have graduate degrees, and I am influencing things.
Bolt the doors, hide the children. A "White Nigra" is on the loose.
I think you should identify however you would like to identify.
I agree, but this doesn't always "work."
Quote:
I identify you as you wish to be identified.
We need to talk...
It would be much easier to just pick sides and swim with the current, but I think that it is a wonderful thing that you can find a way to be proud of your whole ancestry and not just a part of it. I also think that it is a noble thing that you oppose racism.
Posted: Mon 27 Jul 2009 05:14 Post subject: Indentity
PassingWoman wrote:
Quote:
Where do you live?
I live 30+ miles outside of Syracuse NY.. Up a dirt road in the middle of a forest. I am highly educated and work across the State of NY (I'm rarely at home) I run the largest grant in the history of the US, for what I am doing.
Quote:
I think you should identify however you would like to identify.
I agree, but this doesn't always "work."
Quote:
I identify you as you wish to be identified.
We need to talk...
Quote:
I am assuming based on your father's birth year (1928) that you were raised in the 1960's. That was a very difficult time for people of African heritage in the U.S. . It makes sense that you would identify with your phenotype over identifying with your father.
I was born in 1965, to a mixed racial couple (although the really funny part is that my (white) mother's mother has a birth certificate which names her "negro" in 1906- This is the same woman I was raised by.)
I was born on my father's 37th birthday (a month early, and in 1965, not many of those like me survived... I must have wanted to live.)
When my parents divorced, I was dropped on my grandparents' doorstep. My mother came back for me when I was 4 or 5 and I went to live with her (vague memories) by I went to a "progressive" nursery school- we learned French, about ethnicities, to love all people.. but most of all... I recall we learned civil rights. I was "instructed" that white people and black people marrying was not only "all right" but that the Supreme Court had deemed it so :) (Loving vs. Virginia, 1969) It was legal. What a blast for a little kid that knew she was black AND white.. but had gotten some hard info...
In the deeepest memories of my belonging, I can hear my grand mother tell me "You are not of one world or the other." She thrived in her "passing." She loved her "olive skin." She would, when I had climbed into bed with her in the mornings, hold up her arm, and push me to do the same.. looking up at the two arms, together.. we were not the same tine. She would state "See? I am that lovely olive color.. and you... look.. you're just pasty white."
But she would always remind me of my heritage... though probably for good reason. the Exh*lted Wh*te Knites of the Miss. had a good hold in our town. Everyone knew I was a "mixed child."
The racists really, really hate mixed people. Especially mixed people who "pass."
They would seriously like me dead.
When I was young, this confused me. I thought "well, jeez, if I moved away (where no one knew me), everyone would think I was white... I'd just "be" white... so why are they so upset about me?"
But then I went to the West Coat and got my education: I became entrenced in my identity. Yes, I am "mulatoo." I "got" why they were so scared of me: I am the Kl*ns worst nightmare. An educated woman who hates their schpeel. Who is devoute in pulling down their beleifs.
I actually "see" why they veiwed/veiw me as a primary target.
I can go places they can't go.. and I can instill my beleifs.
But there will always be some orgainizations which hate me. "Whitre Priveledge" will always be thrown in my face.
I walk the line. I LIKE walking the line. I can look behind me and see the buried head of hatred in 1865. I can see the torso eaten up in 1965. I can look behind me and watch it slowly die in the 70's the 80's.. the 90's.. now. And because of my skin, I can help bury it. And I am helping.
"Racism and hatred and indiffference, come here..."{I give them some medicine} they die....
In 1865, they would have feared me becasue they thought I would feed them poison on the battle field or in the hospitals. (I would have.) In 2009, they fear me because I will feed thier programs the gift of diversity and inclusion...
Yup.
They need to fear me. I am their worst nightmare. I have graduate degrees, and I am influencing things.
Bolt the doors, hide the children. A "White Nigra" is on the loose.
~PW
It's very hard to answer you because you haven't provided enough information to place you in specific states, cities, socio-economic classes, etc. How did you come to meet the KKK types? Who are your normal associates in terms of work, friends, family, etc?
You are what you are beacuse you are what you look like and that is what society will take you as whether you want to be identified as that or not.
If you look White and go as White,fine. Society will take you as this because it is what is seen.
If you are not Black and look Black, society will take you as Black.
If you are this so-called Bi-racial thing that I just don't get and laugh at because it is so old and common, but if you want to be called Bi-racial and look Black, guess what ? Society will take you as Black.
Same if you are Bi-Multi whatever racial and you look White or Hispanic, society will take you as so.
Big deal!
Love and accept yourself.
If not, wear a sign around neck saying you are BLACK or whatever!!!
I know I always say these things, but it is how I see it coming from where I come from and the people I grew up with.
Me, I am Black American. I look on the order of Soledad O'Brien. 100% indentifiable Black. Where I am from, O'Brien would be called Black.
I look nothing like my grandmothers, two old White ladies.
I was the only Black girl looking nothing my aunts ,uncles and their kids. I was in a wedding a few years ago and I was the only Black girl. The other girls and I were all relatives of the bride.
I look nothing like my Hispanic looking dad and grandad.
Ahhh, the Black came in at my mom's dad.
I like me. I am the only Black person I know, family wise.
I guess I am special. Unique.
What can I do? Have an inferiority complex? No,not me. Kill myself? No,not me.
Oh,you mentioned being shunned,insulted by White people and Black people.
Hell, I have been shunned, insulted and I still am getting shunned and insulted by family, friends, people from families like mine too . I have been asked some insutling questions by people and told things you would not believe.
How are you related to (______)? When I get this question, the person asking usually looks at me as if I am green and orange with 3 heads attached to my body. Their eyebrows turn up and inward.
But how can that be?
Why do look like you do?
You would have a hard time living there? This question came about in reference to a particular city.
Is that really your (fill in the blank)?
You don't look like your cousins. That is a statement I get. Sorry,I forgot to tell you about the statments I get too.
You don't look like your aunts.
It is your nose that messes up .
You need to use this go there or whatever for your hair.
Don't you wish you had hair like me.
I can go on and on.
If I had money eveytime someone told me or asked me something insulting like this, I really would be rich.
The shunning....many people I know pass and only know of you at family events.
I do have a little revenge. Some people I knew growing up looked at me like dirt,and now they have sons,daughters who married waaaaayyyy Back and Black.
It does make me laugh.
What I really want to say is while I do not think your situation is unique,new or special, just love and accept yourself and damn everybody else's . Don't worry about others opinions and attitudes.
'
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