Michelle Obama is a very pretty woman. She and Barack make a perfect looking couple. It's unfortunate that anyone would cast dispersions on OB's choice of a wife.
Personally, I think his choice may have been calculated, but they make a good couple. I think Michelle Obama is attractive - no beauty queen, but attractive. I've heard her speak and she is very posed and polished. Obviously she has high self-esteem. And remember, he used to work for her (that's how they met).
I have a relative (mixed) who married a dark-skinned AA female. He hasn't said to me anything about people looking at them funny, etc but his wife has told me that people would be surprised when they see her husband. Some people have even asked her to her face (strangers, friends, relatives, etc): 'How did you, get him?'
Last edited by Melani23 on Thu 07 Feb 2008 16:18; edited 3 times in total
This is typical sentiment I notice from by many black women, but unlike Powell implies, I doubt it has anything to do with Barack Obama being bi-racial. The same things are said about succesful black men, that marry "their own" - i.e "Thank god he didnt go and marry a white woman".
Alot of women seem to get some kind of validation, out of seeing black men (succesful ones particularly), with black women, and moreso if shes an "average" looking black woman. The black men that marry "out", are viewed as being a collective loss, and loathed.
I agree. Either that or, that White %$# STOLE one of OUR men.
Joined: 02 May 2006 {Posts: 444 } Location: Île-de-France
Posted: Thu 07 Feb 2008 17:03 Post subject:
Quote:
I think his choice may have been calculated
I'm sure his choice was calculated, but I don't see anything to suggest that it was calculated based on her race. If he is anything like alot of guys I know, it was calculated based on physical attraction, compatability, and the feeling that "I'm never going to do better."
I'm sure his choice was calculated, but I don't see anything to suggest that it was calculated based on her race. If he is anything like alot of guys I know, it was calculated based on physical attraction, compatability, and the feeling that "I'm never going to do better."
I'm sure his choice was calculated, but I don't see anything to suggest that it was calculated based on her race. If he is anything like alot of guys I know, it was calculated based on physical attraction, compatability, and the feeling that "I'm never going to do better."
Obama found himself a woman who can complement him and support him, as any any other decent spouse who supports their other (may be better) half.
Do we have to make this rocket science. Nothing special, I think.
My sentiments accordingly...they compliment one another. She isn't the prettiest, IMO, but she is an extremely accomplished and classy woman. Obama clearly loves her and they seem to have a solid marriage.
Posted: Tue 26 Feb 2008 03:39 Post subject: Re: Obama praised for marrying black woman
Yes i have heard this before myself powel. in my opinion who ones marries is their busines and only their business. i never understood for the life of me why AA's make it their business as well as choose to have an opinon on who black/biracial or multiracials choose to marry.
Powell wrote:
Even Bliss Broyard admitted in her book that blacks anxiously watch mixed-race people to determine which "race" they will select for marriage. Marriages to "pure" whites, fellow mixed-race folks and other non-blacks are looked upon with suspicion. Marriages to blacks are greeted with rejoicing. Why? "Improving the race," perhaps?
The Real Prize
Why Obama's wife makes me love him more.
By Kim McLarin
TheRoot.com
Updated: 6:31 PM ET Jan 27, 2008
Yes, yes, I know damn well, in my higher self, that there are better reasons for liking Barack.
His cleareyed intelligence, for one thing. His broad and nonparochial perspective of the world. His preparation, his education, his politics. I like that Obama forwent a lucrative career in corporate America to work with the folks in Chicago. I even like the fact that the man can write, and I mean write, although as a writer who struggles daily to do the work, I kind of hate that too: this talented dabbler, this massively successful dilettante.
But, if I'm honest, I must admit that none of those fine attributes are what tipped me over from Obama admiration to Obama love. It was something else, something entirely personal, something deeply revealing, if not about the man then certainly about me. It was Michelle Obama—or, more particularly, his choice of her as wifely material.
Barack chose Michelle. He chose one of us, and I am thrilled.
The first time I saw Michelle Obama I thought, oddly, of a line from Ntozake Shange's epic choreopoem For Colored Girls Who Have Considered Suicide/When The Rainbow Is Enuf:
ordinary
brown braided woman
with big legs and full lips
reglar
Of course, Michelle Obama is tall and regal and utterly self-possessed. She owns a smile to nearly rival her husband's and waves those long, slender fingers about like a classical pianist. She carries more talent, clarity, deep self-knowledge, and openness of heart in the left eyelash she lost unnoticed yesterday than any woman on the trail. The notion that this woman is "reglar" is, prima facie, absurd.
But there you go. I look at Michelle Obama, and I see—at least not at first—not the strength of her character nor her fierce intelligence nor even her Ivy League degree, but the plain and plainly striking fact that she in no way resembles either Halle Berry or Heidi Klum. She more favors my friend Damita. She reminds me of my sister Michelle. She looks like me.
What does this say about Michelle Obama? Not a thing, of course. About her husband? Perhaps more so.
For the record, I am not saying there's anything wrong with interracial relationships, and I'm certainly not casting any stones at my beautiful fair-skinned sisters. One look close inside my own family would push me to shame were that the case.
I am not saying that black men who marry white women or fair-skinned black women are all operating from some internalized self-loathing and/or deep-seated buy-in to the dominant culture's negation of black female worthiness and allure. I am not saying, all you romantics, that love cannot be colorblind.
OK? All right? Can we move along?
What I am saying is that in America it is not often we see the wife of a successful black man who looks like Michelle, and that seeing her beside him is, for some of us, almost as transforming a moment as seeing him where he is.
What I am saying is that beautiful, beautiful Michelle has the potential to counter in a real and powerful way the still all-too-real internalized belief by many dark-skinned black American women that we are still not pretty enough, not desirable enough, not worthy to be loved. Howl all you want; there is no use in pretending this stuff doesn't still cut deep among us. Check out that young sister's film re-creating the Clark black doll experience. Watch that last little black girl as she points to that little black doll, and get back to me.
Maybe Barack made this choice because of his international upbringing. Maybe he did the hard work early on of rooting around in his subconscious, teasing out which parts of his identity were inherent, which were random, which were family-based, and, yes, which were imposed by cultural hegemony. Or, maybe he just liked the way she smiled at him. Barack looked past what Hollywood and Madison Avenue and even BET would have said about Michelle and saw the stunning beauty she possessed. He chose one of us.
More importantly, Michelle Obama seems to take his open adoration of her in stride, as if it were simply nothing more than she deserved. Concept! New York Times columnist Maureen Dowd can misconstrue Michelle's wifely complaints about Barack not putting away the butter as emasculating all she wants. Some of us hear, in those affectionate jibes, something completely different, something much more about her than about him: She loves, respects, and adores Barack, but she is the prize, and she damn well knows it. He better know it, too.
Kim McLarin is the author of Jump at the Sun: A Novel.
Joined: 26 May 2007 {Posts: 425 } Location: San Antonio, Texas
Posted: Sun 20 Apr 2008 23:39 Post subject:
One question that I'd love to see anwered by people like this. If:
a. Mulatto marries a white person or another mulatto, he or she is "too good" for a "dark-skinned black" person, and
b. Any "dark-skinned black" person who marries a "light-skinned black person" (i.e., mulatto) harbors self-hate, is marrying this person to cover up the "real" desire to marry a white person...
... then the question is this - in which type of relationship could a mulatto be in, where neither partner is criticized?
I know that I'm not going to get real answers here, as there doesn't appear to be anyone here who holds this mentality. Would be nice, however, to ask this question to those who hold such Afro-centric point of views...
Melani, I have heard people comment that "How did she/he get her/him?' Rude.
Yeah, you see couples that look mixed matched or not what you expect ,but then after that minute ,you realize ,so what.
I am guilty of assuming that insome couples I have seen that theguy might be so good looking ,that his wife must looklike a Playboy girl.
Then his wife turns out to be just atttractive, but normal. It is a small minded thing. I do not assume, ever, with race/ehtnic groups or coloring.
Mister, I assumed too that youemnt aby, never going to get better, as a complement to Michelle O. Who else is there better? The woman is brillant. He could have found a rocket scientist.
I do not think the author is claiming anything negative on either Obama or his wife. Nor making it a Black pride thing. She is just stating that in a country where many media personalities like sports and music stars (in contrast to political and other mainstream people who's life doesn't just rotate on entertainment value and popularity) do choose a lot of wives that seem to be on the lighter side. I think she is saying that there is a perception of lack of appreciation for her type of beauty in some circles and it is nice to see that Obama does appreciate that type of beauty, along with all the other qualities of his wife.
Well, I would add that most AA aka 'Black' men marry 'Black' women and most 'Black' women are not biracial, LSB, or Creole anyway.
huh? most black men range from non-mixed to biracial Melani and they marry women in those ranges as well.
Creole Tina Knowles, husband:black
LSB-Black marriage Eddie Murphy and his ex wife and current wife
black - black: Samuel Jackson & his wife
I do not think the author is claiming anything negative on either Obama or his wife. Nor making it a Black pride thing. She is just stating that in a country where many media personalities like sports and music stars (in contrast to political and other mainstream people who's life doesn't just rotate on entertainment value and popularity) do choose a lot of wives that seem to be on the lighter side. I think she is saying that there is a perception of lack of appreciation for her type of beauty in some circles and it is nice to see that Obama does appreciate that type of beauty, along with all the other qualities of his wife.
Well, I would add that most AA aka 'Black' men marry 'Black' women and most 'Black' women are not biracial, LSB, or Creole anyway.
huh? most black men range from non-mixed to biracial Melani and they marry women in those ranges as well.
Creole Tina Knowles, husband:black
LSB-Black marriage Eddie Murphy and his ex wife and current wife
black - black: Samuel Jackson & his wife
very common stuff happening
Celebrities are not the norm. The media also skewes reality. For example, Vanessa Williams (LSB/MGM) has been shown in several movies (Tv, etc) paitred with or having a child by non-Black men. Almost without fail, her tv infant/child is always BLACKER then she is. At least they could have used her own kids as a better example, but no, they found very negro looking examples.
Also, its is estimated that only ~10% of the 'self-idenitifed' AA population is of amibgious or mixed appearnace anyway.
P.S. Eddie Murphy's last wife was biracial. Tina Knowles does not look that Creole to me. She would never pass as Creole in New Orleans.
Joined: 07 Oct 2007 {Posts: 248 } Location: United States
Posted: Sun 03 Aug 2008 14:54 Post subject:
fwsweet wrote:
Melani23 wrote:
Also, its is estimated that only ~10% of the 'self-idenitifed' AA population is of amibgious or mixed appearnace anyway.
Now that is interesting. I would love to add that to my collection of trivia questions. Where does that number come from?
I'm also curious, as I'm curious as to which features objectively qualify one as having a "mixed" appearance. Does it include those who are brown skinned with curly to wavey hair, or how about those who are light tan skinned with very broad features?
I do not think the author is claiming anything negative on either Obama or his wife. Nor making it a Black pride thing. She is just stating that in a country where many media personalities like sports and music stars (in contrast to political and other mainstream people who's life doesn't just rotate on entertainment value and popularity) do choose a lot of wives that seem to be on the lighter side. I think she is saying that there is a perception of lack of appreciation for her type of beauty in some circles and it is nice to see that Obama does appreciate that type of beauty, along with all the other qualities of his wife.
Well, I would add that most AA aka 'Black' men marry 'Black' women and most 'Black' women are not biracial, LSB, or Creole anyway.
huh? most black men range from non-mixed to biracial Melani and they marry women in those ranges as well.
Creole Tina Knowles, husband:black
LSB-Black marriage Eddie Murphy and his ex wife and current wife
black - black: Samuel Jackson & his wife
very common stuff happening
Celebrities are not the norm. The media also skewes reality. For example, Vanessa Williams (LSB/MGM) has been shown in several movies (Tv, etc) paitred with or having a child by non-Black men. Almost without fail, her tv infant/child is always BLACKER then she is. At least they could have used her own kids as a better example, but no, they found very negro looking examples.
Can you give examples of these movies/television shows?
I don't remember too many where she had children in them.
Also, its is estimated that only ~10% of the 'self-idenitifed' AA population is of amibgious or mixed appearnace anyway.
Where did this estimation come from?
P.S. Eddie Murphy's last wife was biracial. Tina Knowles does not look that Creole to me. She would never pass as Creole in New Orleans.
Nicole? or Tracey Edmonds? Neither are biracial. What does a Creole look like? And what does that have to do with it anyway? Her maiden name is Dereon her side of the family is Louisiana Creole, Lynn Whitfields mother is also Creole.
Don't make ignorant statements because you need to justify in your mind that you don't want to believe that there are a good number of AA who look like you. I know you have this [biracial people are unique] idea. But that doesn't change the truth of the varied appearances of AA people.
Nicole wasn't biracial.[/color]
Also, its is estimated that only ~10% of the 'self-idenitifed' AA population is of amibgious or mixed appearnace anyway.
Now that is interesting. I would love to add that to my collection of trivia questions. Where does that number come from?
LOL!
I've actually read about 17% (don't remember source), but I will restate my hypothesis from 10% to a small number of the total AA population.
I will also state that this is my own personal opinion. But, in our quest for sources, let's also go with these:
In 2006, interracial (IR) marriages totaled 3.9 percent of the nation's 59.5 million marriages, according to the U.S. Census Bureau. http://www.theroot.com/id/47431?from=rss (omits non-married IR births)
So, most AAs marry other AAs.
From this post http://onedroprule.org/viewtopic.php?t=5086, the Heather Collins-Schramm's chart. If you include only those AAs (in this study) who had greater than 50% White ancestry, that is a small minority. Other admixture studies on AAs say the 'average' admixture for AAs is ~17%. And yes, I aware of those Brazilian DNA results with dark Afro-Brazilians being 70%+ Euro. LOL! I think those results are bogus. Even Mark Shiver has revised some of his early data on admixture results. Have those Brazilians DNA info been verified by AncestryDNA or a reputable DNA firm?
Suffice it to say, I doubt seriously that anyone here at ODR or in America, would state that AAs as a group, would be typified by a MAJORITY 'light-skinned Black' or mixed racial label.
Touche!
Last edited by Melani23 on Mon 04 Aug 2008 20:02; edited 1 time in total
Also, its is estimated that only ~10% of the 'self-idenitifed' AA population is of amibgious or mixed appearnace anyway.
Now that is interesting. I would love to add that to my collection of trivia questions. Where does that number come from?
I'm also curious, as I'm curious as to which features objectively qualify one as having a "mixed" appearance. Does it include those who are brown skinned with curly to wavey hair, or how about those who are light tan skinned with very broad features?
Like most 'objective' measures, its in the eye of the beholder. However, I think (as in IMO) that most Americans would consider Vanessa Williams, ICE-T, and Beyonce as LSBs. However, it would depend upon who you speak to, if Solange Knowles, Tyra Banks, and Tina Turner would be considered LSB too.
And as far as 'mixed' goes, IMO its usually reserved for people who resemble:
Mariah Carey (light), --> Leonya Lewis (Bledding Love), -->Vin Diesel, The Rock, Shemar Moore-->Scarey Spice (dark), etc types.
'
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