The Study of Racialism

I've Got Your 'Hey Baby!' Right Here
By Kimberly Klinger
Posted: June 21, 2007

I have a confession to make. It's pretty embarrassing for a white, twenty-something, liberal-arts-degree holding Washingtonian.

I'm racist.

I'm not supposed to be. My mother is rolling in her grave. Having grown up in an immigrant family that feared other immigrants, she made it a point to teach me acceptance and common sense­mostly by telling me that the use of the word "jiggaboo" by my great-aunts was totally wrong. Attending college in central Pennsylvania, I majored in sociology, protested campus rape, and marched with the Black Caucus.

So what happened?

I moved to Mt. Pleasant.

You've heard the one about Latino/Hispanic men being macho, sexist, and piggish, right? "Ay, mami," and all that? It's largely bullshit, of course, but in my neighborhood, it's the sad truth. It doesn't matter how I look or what I'm doing: I get sexually harassed on an almost-daily basis. As I walk to catch a bus or run errands, in broad daylight or after the bars let out, when I'm wearing a tank top and jeans or sweatpants and a hoodie­are you getting the point here? Now, don't think that I don't remember the times I've been harassed by other races of men. That's happened, too many times to count. In the other D.C. neighborhoods I've lived in (the Hill and Columbia Heights) the harassment was never as pervasive, but it came from all sorts of men. But because for the past three years the harassment has been from a certain type of man, I've become scared and angry. And I fucking hate it.

I'm torn, however. I hate a lot of things all at the same time. I hate being harassed. I vaguely hate Latino/Hispanic men, in that illogical, knee-jerk reaction sort of way. And I hate myself for feeling like that. Where does that leave me? What's more important?

And why is some discrimination more OK than others? Take the people who rage against racism and think nothing of dropping "fag" in everyday conversation. And sexism, I think, is even more OK than picking on gay people. It's just a part of life. You don't want to whine about it or call it what it is, lest you be labeled a man-hater.

But launch a debate on immigration? That's super-cool right now since there are a lot of scared white people who want our borders closed to those dirty Mexicans. It's even been suggested we shoot them for trying to gain entrance to our precious country. Noncrazies, of course, loathe this sort of talk. And I consider myself noncrazy. So I'm extra-embarrassed that I "hate" the immigrants in my neighborhood. (The neighborhood I'm gentrifying­but, hey, that's another issue.)

But they're not acting right! They're coming in here and disrespecting a good American woman, just because that's how their culture is? So I'm allowed to hate them, right?

I can't hate them for any reason connected to their race. That makes me no better than people who say shit like, "Go back to Africa!" I can, however, hate them for the way they disrespect me.

White men don't do this to me with the same frequency, so when I pass a group of them on the street, I don't clench my jaw, tense up, and walk faster. But when I pass Latino men, I assume the worst. Black men, too, sometimes, since after Latino men, they harass me the most. Hell, if you're at all brown, I'm gonna get worried. So I have this conflict every damn day.

Logic wins out in the end, though. I remind myself that it's absurd to hate an entire race of people based on the behavior of a few­good to remember at moments like that. I tell myself that it's the behavior I loathe, not the race­and then I get mad all over again with the next "Hey, Mami!"

Because what the fuck is up with street harassment?

That's what I mean when I say sexism is still sort of OK. Harassment happens constantly, to pretty much all women, no matter what they look like, or wear, or do, and there's almost no way to stop it. I don't usually fight back when I'm harassed; I just pretend I can't hear them and keep walking. Usually that makes them quiet down, though sometimes they get irate that I couldn't at least be friendly to them. The times I have "fought back"­when I just couldn't take it anymore­I reach for "shut up" or give someone the finger. Ooh, real tough. And it only makes them angry. I happened to snap like that once at a car full of black men, and they followed me a couple of blocks, catching up with me at the next light to call me a "white bitch." If you read the log, you'll note that yes, I've been called that twice recently. Perhaps that should be my new nickname?

The armchair sociologist in me knows it's all about power­that the men who harass are just trying to look tough in front of their friends or assert their dominance. I think that's probably true in some form, but what I hear is all about sex and shame. Shame on my part, anyway, as I hunch over to hide myself when I hear some jerk tell me what he'd like to do to me. It's great fun.

And if it's not about power, is it actually a way for men to try to pick up women? I mean, I highly doubt that a harasser is thinking deeply about the dynamics of the situation or that he expects to get some sort of positive response from hollering at me. So does that shit ever work? I want to meet the woman who married the man who leered at her and said "Daaaaamn!" while she was walking alone late at night. That'd be one hell of a story. As David Cross said about a garbage man using his truck to harass­I'm sorry, attempting to pick up chicks­"I'll talk to 100 women. Cause hey, maybe that 99th girl likes to fuck on a pile of trash."

Perhaps street harassment really is just an aggressive form of flirting. It must be to some people, because some men don't understand how rude, wrong, and frightening harassment is. Some even wish women would return the favor: "Hey, nice package!" Many people do not get that harassment is a serious problem. They think I should be flattered, which I guess...Yeah! Hey, you're right. A stranger's, "Girl you are so sexy, come here, hey where are you going," should definitely be responded to with a feeling of pride in my heart and maybe a blowjob. Apparently I'm wrong to fantasize about punching a harasser in the face. I mean, come on­be appreciative of the men who validate your self-worth for you. It's just a compliment, right? Calm down, harpy!

Well, I guess I would if I weren't feeling annoyed, threatened, and scared. The tone of most harassment is very hostile. Sometimes it escalates to full-on yelling. I've been grabbed and groped. Even a more innocuous "compliment" is still kind of weird­why are you talking to me out of nowhere? And the carful of men who circled the block to find and yell at me weren't the first to intimidate me from inside a vehicle. I've had men slow down their cars to match the pace of my walking, so that they could lean out the window and­I don't know, try to convince me to get in? What the fuck? Those guys are hard to ignore. I usually keep it up until I can't anymore, but I have flipped out and yelled: "Drive your fucking car! GO!" This is usually when I get called a­you guessed it­bitch. Sometimes they call me fat or ugly, too, which makes perfect sense considering I was one hot mama not 10 seconds earlier.

Last year, the Washington City Paper's own blog was the site of some discussion on this very topic. Sarah Godfrey wrote a post about an anti-street harassment rally held in early May. And guess what came up? Racism. She was accused of being racist by the organizers, who claimed she was saying that only "Black and Brown people engage in street harassment" and that she was promoting racial tension. See what a touchy subject this is? If you point out the street harassment in particular neighborhoods full of a particular race/ethnicity of men, you're a racist. But if you make a blanket statement and point out that men in general have been known to harass women­a true fact, sorry guys­then you're a man-hater. Fucked either way, and so am I. Because I don't know what to do about this problem, or my anger, or racism.

I've only learned that if you can train yourself not to turn your head when you hear a voice, if you can pretend to be deaf, you'll walk away from most harassment situations unharmed. It'll continually happen to you, but at least you won't escalate the situation unintentionally. What the hell kind of advice is that? That's no comfort, and no solution.

The only thing I can come up with is to make people aware of it. Many times, when I tell a male friend what's up, he looks at me in amazement, and says, "I had no idea it was that bad." Well, guess what, dude? It is.

I'm sorry but I feel every word she wrote there. I live in a town full of men like the ones she described and yes, most of them are either black or Hispanic.

White men tend to either be very courteous or they leave me alone. And if they do flirt with me, I don't feel the need to run away. I wouldn't call it racism...it has a lot to do with cultural differences in the way men are brought up, I don't know. Men of all races and all walks of life can be perverts, but I've noticed that some black and Hispanic men display this more than any other where I live.

My female cousin works at the office of a large bank, she is a darker redbrown color mixed features with long naturally curly hair and she has a body. She has commented to me that Italian men on her job have rolled out their cubicalls to stare at her when she walks away, and will make comments.

Italian (native) men are known to literally pat the bottoms of women or pinch.

On the other hand English men are known to be much more silent about there admirations.

So it really does depend on the ethnic group weither in the States or in their native countries.

Many white american men I've talked with assume that 'native' people ie African Indian oh what the heck 'non European or non white' are wild and ready to get down with no barriers. And its really the total opposite.
I believe that it is about machismo and a tendency to view women as sex objects rather than people.

True even in the upper class, a woman is about making him look good and sex.

Most of these men probably view a lot of porn or go to strip clubs and then assume that women in general are there to be abused/leered at/whistled at. They're unable to make distinctions between fantasy and real life and they apply these attitudes to every attractive woman they see. Some white males can and do intimidate women sexually in public, but I can't say from my own experience that it has ever been a problem.

What bothers me is that when a woman responds with hostility (as she should) to the person who is leering or making comments or exposing himself, immediately she becomes a "bitch".

or a dyke

Deep down I wonder if this is the attitude that all misogynists have...the notion that if a woman expresses hate towards her harrasser (s), she is not a real woman because a real woman would like it.

But women do the same to men. If he isn't chasing after women or the particular woman who notices. There must be something wrong with him or his sexuality is called into question.

It isn't about clothes or how you carry yourself, either, like she said. I've been called the most offensive names while covered up entirely. You don't need to show boobs or hips to become an object of harrassment. I become very tense when I walk by some black or Hispanic men, whether they're in groups or not, simply because of how they look at me...sometimes (rarely) without uttering a word. It isn't admiration, it is about intimidation. I've flipped men off and cursed at them because of this and my own reaction upsets me. I'm like, I shouldn't care about these jerks anyway. I've discovered that it bothers me because I feel ashamed of being female around men like them. My womanhood, my personhood seems to mean nothing to them. It violates my sense of security, both emotionally and physically. And sometimes I wish I had a partner to walk with to keep the hounds at bay. Which makes me feel worse because I believe in fighting your own battles and standing up for yourself.


*Note: all of this is my perspective...it is not stated as fact

Yes, outrageous behavior on the part of males (whether blatantly sexual or not) is often tolerated since it is consistent with the stereotype for males.

An aggressive man is a leader or a rebel. A woman who shows anger, no matter how justified or provoked, is just a bitch.

As far as we have come is civilization, it still comes down to that.
I wouldn't say showing anger in itself, it depends on the situation especially when dealing with their children. I think it's expected & accepted that women will become angry.

But for a women to 'act like a man' being aggressive or rebel she is a bitch or a slut. or a dyke.

It is not surprising that so many people (both male and female) can't see the most blatant injustices if they are directed against women. What's wrong with you? Get over it!

I'm sorry but I feel every word she wrote there. I live in a town full of men like the ones she described and yes, most of them are either black or Hispanic.

White men tend to either be very courteous or they leave me alone. And if they do flirt with me, I don't feel the need to run away. I wouldn't call it racism...it has a lot to do with cultural differences in the way men are brought up, I don't know. Men of all races and all walks of life can be perverts, but I've noticed that some black and Hispanic men display this more than any other where I live. I believe that it is about machismo and a tendency to view women as sex objects rather than people. Most of these men probably view a lot of porn or go to strip clubs and then assume that women in general are there to be abused/leered at/whistled at. They're unable to make distinctions between fantasy and real life and they apply these attitudes to every attractive woman they see. Some white males can and do intimidate women sexually in public, but I can't say from my own experience that it has ever been a problem.

What bothers me is that when a woman responds with hostility (as she should) to the person who is leering or making comments or exposing himself, immediately she becomes a "bitch". Deep down I wonder if this is the attitude that all misogynists have...the notion that if a woman expresses hate towards her harrasser (s), she is not a real woman because a real woman would like it. It isn't about clothes or how you carry yourself, either, like she said. I've been called the most offensive names while covered up entirely. You don't need to show boobs or hips to become an object of harrassment. I become very tense when I walk by some black or Hispanic men, whether they're in groups or not, simply because of how they look at me...sometimes (rarely) without uttering a word. It isn't admiration, it is about intimidation. I've flipped men off and cursed at them because of this and my own reaction upsets me. I'm like, I shouldn't care about these jerks anyway. I've discovered that it bothers me because I feel ashamed of being female around men like them. My womanhood, my personhood seems to mean nothing to them. It violates my sense of security, both emotionally and physically. And sometimes I wish I had a partner to walk with to keep the hounds at bay. Which makes me feel worse because I believe in fighting your own battles and standing up for yourself.


*Note: all of this is my perspective...it is not stated as fact

Well, FDC, the way I see it is this...there has to be a psychological problem in men who behave that way. Like you, I had terrifying experiences with older black males as a child. That probably explains my intial fear/mistrust when I'm around most "men of color". Like I said, I feel it is about class and an inability to act appropriately. Some psychological imbalance seems to be at work, IMO. Who is to say that men engaging in this behavior do not physically abuse women or girls, and possibly sexually assault them as well? Decent men and boys don't shout lewd comments or fondle women. They don't stalk/follow/intimidate little girls. You were very fortunate...you could have been raped or killed by one of those animals.

Train girls in self defence
Nina Funnell

The author says self defence training is the answer .. not necessarily standard martial arts, but training to gouge eyes, nose and other vital organs of the attacker.

I will never know what possesses a man to grab a girl from behind, holding a box-cutter blade to her throat. I'll also never know what goes through such a man's head as he drags that girl from a path and into a park, before bashing and choking her.
I do, however, know what it feels like to be that girl. I know the shock and terror that goes through the mind as a man straddles her, bashing her in the face, trying to subdue her. I know because it happened to me in May, while walking down a street in Hunters Hill.

The attack was after a friend's birthday celebration, following a day at university. The park where the assault took place was a park where I have walked my dog. It was directly opposite a girls' high school.

Fortunately my body responded to the attack by going into an adrenaline-fuelled fit. I fought the man off by screaming and scratching. I can say without a doubt that the self-defence seminar I took in high school eight years ago helped me to escape without being raped.

In talking about the assault, I do not want to further cultivate a climate of fear. But the experience has taught me things I think would be valuable for others to hear. I particularly want to argue in favour of the value of learning self-defence.

In high school we learnt to go for the "eyes, throat, nose, groin and toes". Struggles are not nicely choreographed dances and in the moment I simply scratched and screamed. But the point is that the self-defence course taught me I had the right to fight back. By talking about and role-playing the situation in advance, I had knowledge to refer to.

These self-defence courses are just as important as courses in road safety, resuscitation and stranger danger.

A couple of hundred Australians drown every year. But about 100,000 women experience sexual assault every year, the Bureau of Statistics says. If schools spent as much time teaching young women to defend themselves as they do teaching resuscitation, perhaps these statistics would be different.

Martial arts is not enough. There are lots of martial arts courses that teach the "art" of physical engagement, but when someone is assaulting you for real, "respect for your opponent" means nothing and it's the dirty, below-the-belt tactics you need to know. That's not to imply that women who haven't fought back have made an error of judgment. But women at least need to have that option available to them.

After I was assaulted, I called the police, who arrived within minutes. When we returned to the scene, I was met with chilling mementos of the evening: one of my thongs that came off, my necklace that he ripped from my throat, my university notes sprawled and scattered about the place. My instinctive reaction was to collect my things but the police intercepted me, telling me not to touch "the evidence".

Since then, people have asked me questions that hurt and frustrate me, and implicate me as being responsible. The questions I get asked most often are "what time did it happen?", "what were you wearing?" and "was he 'Middle Eastern'?"

The first two questions I automatically dismiss. Yet people continue to interrogate me over my attire. If my outfit was to blame for causing this assault, then I should probably be writing to the people who made my jeans, demanding they halt production on their "invitation-to-rape" line of clothing.

But what about the third question? This is a hard one. Having spent a good chunk of my university career campaigning against racial stereotyping, I always cringe when I disclose the fact that "yes", this man was "of Middle Eastern appearance". By that I mean he had a deep olive complexion, dark bushy eyebrows, a five o'clock shadow and a thick accent. But during the assault I yelled at him, calling him "a pathetic cliche", for a reason.

Why do I cringe when I say he was of Middle Eastern appearance? I wouldn't be shy about stating that he was "Caucasian", had that been the case. Am I being too politically correct in not wanting to talk about the issue of ethnicity? Or am I right to not want to perpetuate a racial stereotype that damages a community already under fire?

I don't have answers to these questions yet.

So far the police have not caught anyone and I've been left frustrated and upset. This frustration is compounded when the police label me a "victim", or worse, a "witness". A witness? I wasn't sitting on the sideline eating popcorn watching this man beat and choke me. This is a limitation of language, not a fault with the police.

Still, I feel dehumanised and like I am only a number in the legal system. I am expected to share the most intimate, excruciating details of this traumatic event with the police but they offer me very little in return.

I have decided to publicise my story to reclaim some ownership of the situation. I refuse to be intimidated by this man or by the legal process and so I willingly attach my name and photo to this article. I'm not embarrassed to say I was almost raped. Rape should not be embarrassing to anyone other than the coward who commits it.

The police have my necklace, jeans, belt, singlet, cardigan and the bottle of soft drink I was drinking when I was attacked. This evidence is now being tested for fingerprints and traces of DNA from a man who may never be caught.

No, I won't "get over it" because it is a very real problem in society...this is one of the reasons that certain men rape, torture, and murder women and children. Because we're (often) viewed as weak, inferior beings. We should work towards a better society bit by bit instead of accepting this as the way things are.

Hey, gem...I've heard some women imply that about a man only a few times if he wasn't into her. While it isn't very nice, how is that sexual harrassment? It would be if said woman decided to start spreading malicious rumors about his sexuality, as opposed to simply saying: "How could he not want this? He doesn't know what he's missing. He's probably into guys". The latter is only an implication, the former would constitute as harrassment because it would be more damaging to his reputation if he is sensitive to being labeled a homosexual (as most straight men seem to be).

I've never witnessed women out creating a hostile environment for men in a sexual way on the streets. I'm not saying it doesn't happen but most people will say that is rare. Women walking by themselves are open to lewd comments and outright hate, based on their gender and/or appearance. Most men feel free to walk by themselves on the street without worrying about some woman whistling loudly and shouting, "Hey...nice ass!" It doesn't have the same effect, does it? And when you consider the comparatively smaller size of most women to that of most men, who seems more intimidating? I doubt that a man who stands 6'1" and weighs 180 lbs. would be very upset if a little woman of 5'1" and 120 lbs. leered at him or propositioned him out on the street. He might think she's either mentally ill or a prostitute, but he wouldn't see it as harrassment.